DarSlam NetWork

Soma Hii.. Namna ya Kutongoza Kilokole.

ONYO!: Ole wako utumie mbinu hii halafu ufanikiwe na usitimize ahadi ya ndoa.. Kitakacho kupata utajuta kusimulia.

Jamaa: Hello mrembo, samahani, una
mpenzi?
Binti: Hapana. Sina mpenzi.
Jamaa: Kitabu cha Mwanzo 2: 18 "Bwana
Mungu akasema, Si vema huyo mtu awe
peke yake, nitamfanyia msaidizi wa
kufanana naye."
Binti: Lakini mimi sikupendi jamani.
Jamaa: Waraka wa kwanza wa Yohana 4:8
"Yeye asiyependa, hakumjua Mungu, kwa
maana Mungu ni upendo."
Binti: Mh! Mi ntajuaje kwamba na wewe
unamaanisha hayo maneno?
Jamaa: Injili ya Mathayo 12:34b "Maana,
kinywa cha mtu huyanena yaujazayo moyo
wake."
Binti: Jamani leo kazi. Mi ntajuaje kwamba
we ni mkweli na mwaminifu?
Jamaa: Injili ya Marko 13:31 "Mbingu na
nchi zitapita; lakini maneno yangu
hayatapita kamwe."
Binti: Wewe! Na kwanini umekuja kwangu?
Wasichana mbona wako wengi tu!
Jamaa: Mithali 31:29 "Binti za watu wengi
wamefanya mema, Lakini wewe umewapita
wote."
Binti: We una mambo wewe! Sasa mimi
kwangu umependa kitu gani?
Jamaa: Wimbo Ulio Bora 4:7 "Mpenzi
wangu, u mzuri pia pia, Wala ndani yako
hamna ila."
Binti: Mh! Huo uongo, mbona mimi hata
sio mzuri kihivyo. Unaongeza chumvi tu!
Jamaa: Mithali 31:30 "Upendeleo
hudanganya, na uzuri ni ubatili; Bali
mwanamke amchaye Bwana, ndiye
atakayesifiwa."
Binti: Nikisema nimekukubalia itakuaje?
Jamaa: Mwanzo 2:24 " Kwa hiyo
mwanamume atamwacha baba yake na
mama yake naye ataambatana na mkewe,
nao watakuwa mwili mmoja."
Binti: Jamani we mkaka. Inakuaje unajua
maandiko kiasi hicho?
Jamaa: Yoshua 1:8 "Kitabu hiki cha torati
kisiondoke kinywani mwako, bali yatafakari
maneno yake mchana na usiku, upate
kuangalia kutenda sawasawa na maneno
yote yaliyoandikwa humo; maana ndipo
utakapoifanikisha njia yako, kisha ndipo
utakapositawi sana."
Binti: Wowwww! Naona unampenda sana
Mungu.
Jamaa: Zaburi 34:8 "Onjeni mwone ya
kuwa Bwana yu mwema; Heri mtu yule
anayemtumaini."
Binti: Mh! Haya bwana. Basi nipe muda
nifikirie ombi lako.
Jamaa: Wafilipi 4:8 "Hatimaye, ndugu
zangu, mambo yo yote yaliyo ya kweli, yo
yote yaliyo ya staha, yo yote yaliyo ya haki,
yo yote yaliyo safi, yo yote yenye
kupendeza, yo yote yenye sifa njema;
ukiwapo wema wo wote, ikiwapo sifa nzuri
yo yote, yatafakarini hayo."
Binti: Mh! Jamani wewe, haya, nimekubali.
Mpaka hapo nakupenda tayari!!
Jamaa: Ufunuo wa Yohana 22:21b "Amina"

Kichekesho

The Best Divorce Letter, Ever...!!

FIRST LETTER:

My Dear husband:I’m writing this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you.
I’ve been a good wife to you for the last 20 years & I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you left your job today which was the last straw.
Last week, you came home & you didn’t even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new nightie.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps.
You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’mgone.
Your EX-Wife.
Don’t try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving to New Zealand together! Have a great life!

REPLY:

Dear Ex-wife,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It’s true you & I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you’ve been.I watch TV soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & bitching.
Too bad that doesn’t work any more.I DID notice when you got a hair do last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a boy!’
Since my father raised me not to say anything, if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment……and when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have got me confused with MY BROTHER because I haven’t eaten prawns for 7 years.

About the new nightie: I turned away from you because the $299.99 price tag was still on it,& I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $300 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I won the $20 million Lotto, on Saturday,
I left my job & bought 2 tickets for us to Paris , but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dollar from me.So take care.
Signed,Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born Carla.I hope that’s not a problem

Tanzi Shakers from Tanzania Ndani ya Britain's Got Talent

Kutanana na Danson Muchemi ktk Kipindi cha Young Rich

The Biggest Laptop in the World

Mkasi with Hemed PHD

Video ya Meli ya Tanzania Iliyokamatwa na Dawa za Kulevya Italy..

Video kutoka kwa jeshi la polisi la Italy jinsi meli ya Tanzania ilivyokuwa inakamatwa

AyoTV

DHOOM:3 TEASER - Aamir Khan | Abhishek Bachchan | Katrina Kaif | Uday Chopra - Teaser Trailer

Presenting the Official Teaser Trailer of the most awaited film of 2013 - DHOOM:3. Starring Aamir Khan, Abhishek Bachchan, Katrina Kaif & Uday Chopra.

DHOOM:3 Film releases on 20th December 2013.
Produced by Aditya Chopra, DHOOM:3 is written and directed by Vijay Krishna Acharya, who had also written DHOOM & DHOOM:2. Apart from Aamir Khan, who plays the anti-hero in the film, and Katrina Kaif, both Abhishek Bachchan and Uday Chopra will continue in their now iconic roles of Jai Dixit and Ali.

ROBOCOP - Official Trailer (2014) [HQ]

Release Date: February 7, 2014
Studio: Columbia Pictures (Sony), MGM
Director: Jose Padilha
Screenwriter: Josh Zetumer, Nick Schenk
Starring: Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Samuel L. Jackson, Abbie Cornish, Jackie Earle Haley, Michael K. Williams, Jay Baruchel, Jennifer Ehle, Marianne Jean-Baptiste
Genre: Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi, Thriller
MPAA Rating: Not Available

Plot Summary:
In "RoboCop," the year is 2028 and multinational conglomerate OmniCorp is at the center of robot technology. Their drones are winning American wars around the globe and now they want to bring this technology to the home front. Alex Murphy (Kinnaman) is a loving husband, father and good cop doing his best to stem the tide of crime and corruption in Detroit. After he is critically injured in the line of duty, OmniCorp utilizes their remarkable science of robotics to save Alex's life. He returns to the streets of his beloved city with amazing new abilities, but with issues a regular man has never had to face before.
Official Websites: http://www.omnicorp.com, http://www.robocop-movie.net